Dear Friends,
Have you noticed that the topic of “loneliness” is popping up all over the place? Loneliness is being called an epidemic and a public health crisis – clearly no-nonsense terms.
There’s a reason for all the attention loneliness is getting. National surveys reveal that approximately half of all adults in our country say they experience loneliness, and that's not good. Since the 1950s, studies have warned the medical community that loneliness is a predictor for anxiety and depression, cardiovascular disease and stroke. Recently, a catchy statistic got the attention of the press: a lack of social connection can increase the risk for premature death as much as smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day.
If you want to know more, you might check out an advisory on loneliness in the United States that was released by our new Surgeon General, Dr. Vivek Murthy. In the report, he lays out a framework for a comprehensive reshaping of American life to prioritize human connection. In a related opinion piece in The New York Times, Dr. Murthy said, “If we truly want to be healthy, happy and fulfilled as a society, we have to restructure our lives around people.” Right now, he says, Americans are way too focused on work.
As you can imagine, I can’t stop thinking about how all of this relates to TTN. Our mission is to “empower women to thrive across life’s transitions”. What does this mean, exactly? And what does it have to do with loneliness?
As women with life experience, we certainly know what “transitions” are. Life is a continuous stream of transitions and traveling through them – even the happy ones – can make us feel quite alone if we don’t have people to share them with.
And empowerment? Empowerment is about giving someone what they need, whether it’s feeling stronger during a difficult time or having the confidence to pursue a dream or a goal. Sharing our joy and sadness with people we feel close to, in a community where we feel we belong, fulfills our deep need for connection. It adds substance and meaning to our lives and makes us much less lonely.
Women from many chapters have been collaborating this year on ways to make it easier for TTN members to connect with each other. I’m very excited about what they have come up with and look forward to sharing it with you in the next few months.
Meanwhile, what can we all do today to empower each other, and ourselves, to thrive? Here are a few ideas.
Volunteer to serve on a committee or help out with an event. Getting engaged in a group effort, even in a small way, will give you a sense of purpose and belonging. Besides that, it’s fun!
Join a Peer Group or Special Interest Group (SIG). These small groups enable us to get to know other women in a deeper way than what we’re able to achieve in the quick drive-bys that make up most of our daily lives. You can learn more on your chapter’s web page or by speaking with someone on your chapter's steering committee.
Attend a workshop. Look for Women in Transition and Unpacking Whiteness on TTN’s national calendar. You will feel an instant sense of connection with other participants while you’re engaged in a workshop, and the feeling is likely to live on for you in various ways after the workshop is over.
Reach out to women you meet. Look for someone who is sitting by herself at an in-person event and talk with her! She will appreciate the effort you are making and you will both feel a little happier. If you're by yourself at home, send a note to someone you met at an in-person or virtual event. You will find contact information in the Member Directory. Your message doesn’t have to be a big deal. It can be as simple as saying you enjoyed a comment she made, or you can see that you live near each other. The amazing thing about making a connection – proven by science – is that even a very brief interaction will lift both of your spirits for a whole day.
The antidote to loneliness is to be part of a community in which other people know us and genuinely care about us. As members of TTN, we have opportunities to both give and partake of this healthy medicine every day.
I want to say something to you, and I mean it: No member of TTN is alone. When you joined TTN you became part of a real community. Take advantage of the beautiful, life-affirming connections you can find here. You’ll see opportunities to connect everywhere, once you look. If you can’t see them, write to me at darla.hastings@ttnwomen.org and I’ll be honored to help you get plugged in.
With gratitude and affection,
Darla